Love Matters | Rita Lino

Talk dirty to me

Aisha and Wale just celebrated ten years of marriage. And it has been a wonderful ten years. There was no disagreement that they could not squash in 30 minutes. Even though they got along so perfectly, their sex life had begun to feel like a bore, a routine, an obligation.

They need to fix this to ensure they make it another ten years.


When trying to spice up your sex life there are many options for you.  From introducing sex toys, having sex in unusual places, learning new sex positions, exploring each other’s fantasies, AND talking dirty.


When it comes to dirty talk, it’s not really about what you say, but how you say it. It is all about exciting and awakening the mind as the brain is the control centre for your sex drive. 

Dirty talk can play a major role in foreplay as a tool to build anticipation and excitement. Whether you’re a pro or a total amateur, there’s one surefire way to make anything you say to your partner ten times sexier, and that is to whisper it.


Here are examples of what to say:


Can you help me with something in the bedroom?


First, you are going to get on your knees. Then you are going to taste me.


I do not have any panties on.


I am so wet/hard right now.


Just wait until we get home.


I want you inside of me.


I want you so bad.


Boundaries are important

It is important to communicate and set boundaries. For example, not everyone would appreciate being called “a dirty little whore”. It is also important not to guess or assume. While your complimentary dirty talk may be with good intentions, certain phrases may trigger unpleasant emotions or make your partner self-conscious. 


When boundaries are set, your partner feels safe and comfortable to enjoy the activity better.


Use your words

Giving your partner affirmations during sex is a game changer. Everyone likes to be validated, appreciated, and admired. Your words can build your partner’s confidence which will in turn improve their performance. Also, keep your partner updated on your arousal. When you talk about how your body feels, it brings awareness to it. That also turns your partner on more because they think they are doing something right and that turns them on more. It’s a win-win situation.


Here are examples of what to say:


You feel so good inside me.


Look at me.


Your dick/pussy feels amazing.


I love your body.


You do that so well.


I love the way you taste.








Make me come.


You like that, don’t you?


Dirty talk is not a one size fits all situation. Think about what you like to hear and share it with your partner.  Start small, ease into it, and do not take things too seriously. Allow yourself to laugh when you say something silly or un-sexy. Remember, it is all about building a connection with your lover.




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