Should you try mutual masturbation during sex?
Okay, you have probably flicked the bean or burped the worm at some point or other in your sexual life. Those weird terms mean masturbating, by the way, you can laugh, they are ridiculous.
Touching yourself is understandably a quite private activity. You want to lock the door, get in a comfortable position, you may even light some candles (go big or go home right?) to prepare for it.
What you might be having a hard time with is why you would want to do the same thing when y’all are together and could just have sex. Like, what is the point right?
Oh well, have you thought of the fact that maybe being vulnerable with your partner in that way could unlock a new level of sexual experiences for you and your partner? It could be the extra spice that your relationship needs.
That was how it happened for Kemi* and her bae. She liked to explore, sexually, try new things. She used to say “life is too short to be having boring sex, biko.” You probably agree with her too. Her bae, Kola was a more traditional Yoruba man. He wanted to do his missionary and doggy, finish, and keep it moving.
Don’t get it twisted though, they had a great sex life, Kemi just thought it could be better, more exciting. She had always wanted to try mutual masturbation; she thought that it was hot. But the day she hesitantly suggested it to Kola, he freaked out. His main issue with it was that it would be weird to masturbate in front of his partner. As far as he was concerned, it was something you do when your significant other wasn’t looking.
Kola’s behaviour mirrors the attitude of many sexually active guys and ladies concerning mutual masturbation. As in sex should involve some form of penetration, right? If there isn’t, can you even call it sex? Errm, well, let’s see if your mind can’t be changed after this. Let’s find out how mutual masturbation can keep things spicy under the covers
Why you should try rubbing one out with bae
Okay, first off, do you know that watching your partner masturbate in front of you can be hot? You get to see how their faces cycle through the stages of arousal up until the point when they cum. Now just imagine if you are both watching each other do that.
Mutual masturbation is also a good substitute for a quickie. Maybe you are not in the mood for sex or you don’t have the time to get in the mood. You could even be in a location where sex isn’t possible, but you are feeling frisky. Yanking your pants off and getting each other off with your fingers is the way to go!
Don’t also forget that mutual masturbation is probably the best way to teach your partner about what you like. You know your body, so show your partner what to do to you to make you explode. You could make them watch you while you pleasure yourself and ask that they take notes. I don’t know about you but those are notes I would love to take
Oh, one more reason for you to try this out. It is almost impossible for you to catch any nasty STIs from your partner. Yes, that is a big advantage, huh? But wait, how can you do this thing without it being too weird?
How to rub one out with your partner like a pro
We have already established that mutual masturbation can be all shades of weird and uncomfortable for first-timers. Here are some ways you can do it that will turn the weirdness down:
- Try to start by doing it over the phone. Phone sex is basically mutual masturbation, but at a distance. It can help you get used to the idea before you try it in person.
- When you are ready to try in person, you can still do it without seeing each other. Sleep beside each other in the dark and touch yourselves or have your partner touch you. You can only hear what your partner is doing, not see them which heightens the excitement while also making it less weird.
- When you get comfortable with it, you can go that one naughty step more and add toys.
What’s the verdict?
You should understand that rubbing one out with your partner might feel totally out of place when you are thinking about it at work or while driving. Wait until you are horny and ready to go, your emotions and hormones take over, and at that point, it doesn’t seem so weird anymore.
It was the beginning of a new chapter of their sex lives, and it can be the same for you too if you will take that first albeit uncomfortable step. At the very least try it out, if it doesn’t work for you, then you can keep it moving. If you do like it, well then, enjoy, oh and tell a friend.
*names have been changed to protect their identities
