Shutterstock

How not to catch feelings for your Friend with Benefits

By Jeffrey Ejekhine Wednesday, August 26, 2020 - 17:09
Having a friend with benefit is nice and fun when you just want to have sex with someone familiar, but what happens when feelings get involved? How do you manage your emotions?

Have you ever been in a friend-with-benefits kind of relationship? You know the relationship where two friends make a decision to be sexual without committing to each other. If you have, what happens when you develop feelings for the friend you are physical with? What do you do when these feelings become overwhelming? This is very common as a lot of people find themselves in situations like this. Most times when feelings are involved, it could cause damage to the relationship.

Developing feelings for a friend you are physical with is normal. Sometimes it could lead to a committed relationship and sometimes one of the parties could be left heartbroken. It is easy to fall for someone you vibe with even when they don’t feel the same way, but sometimes it becomes unhealthy when you can’t keep them in check.

Here are some tips on how to keep your feelings in check when you are in a friend-with-benefits situation.
Remind yourself of your reality

This helps you to know what is at stake when you find yourself losing control of your emotions. You need to constantly remind yourself of the fact that no future you hope for can ever come out of the situation. It would help you not lose sight of the purpose of the relationship.

Communicate

At the start of the relationship, both parties agreed to making it just about sex, it was an agreement both of you made, which means you communicated what you wanted from each other. It also becomes very helpful when you also communicate with each other when you think things are getting complicated. Always communicate your feelings to your friend so they know exactly where you are and they can also tell you where they are too.

Create boundaries

Normalise creating some space for yourself. Don’t text them for a few days and when you eventually do, talk about random things and not the next meeting. Boundaries keep your eyes on the prize and prevent unnecessary feelings from building.

Don’t over think it

Remember that it’s okay to love someone and not want to be committed to the person and this also applies in your situation. It takes more than love to have a healthy relationship. Whenever you know they have someone over, don’t overthink whatever they do or are doing with the person so as not to be overwhelmed with jealousy.

End the benefits

When you realise your emotions are too involved and it is beginning to complicate the relationship, end it before it ruins the friendship and causes heartbreak. Depending on your relationship with the person, you wouldn't want your feelings to affect your relationship with them. So when the need arises, stop the sex and if possible take some time apart.

Do you have more questions about having friends-with-benefits? Reach out to our Moderators on our Facebook Page and they will answer your questions.

Did you find this useful?

Comments
Add new comment

Restricted HTML

  • Allowed HTML tags: <a href hreflang> <em> <strong> <cite> <blockquote cite> <code> <ul type> <ol start type> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <h2 id> <h3 id> <h4 id> <h5 id> <h6 id>
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • Web page addresses and email addresses turn into links automatically.