Shutterstock

Sex secrets women don't tell

By Bukky Richards Tuesday, December 1, 2020 - 16:25
A lot of men will agree that they sometimes wish they could read women's minds during sex, like the Mel Gibson movie “What Women Want”, and it is frankly understandable. Centuries of being told to be modest, when it comes to sex, has made a lot of women prone to lying or simply not divulging their thoughts or feelings about sex.

This has presented a problem for many men, who already find it hard to satisfy their partners or just wish they knew more about the women's perspective. Many women will rather trade sex secrets with other women, than with men. Even their partners sometimes take a longer time than necessary, to understand their women's bodies or what their women like, sexually. 

Some of these secrets have, over time, been revealed by experts, but there are still some that many men (and sometimes other women) are oblivious to. These aren't just secrets about what women like, this also includes what women do not like, what they experience during sex but do not disclose and some things they wish people will stop believing, as they're not completely true. 

 

Below are 21 popular ones women have admitted to:

  1. What she thinks about that act/move you put all your energy into. She may be letting you go on, to avoid any awkwardness but she probably wants you to stop. 

  2. When she said she liked pain and you overdid it or did not do it enough. Never assume any partner’s pain threshold. It varies from one person to another. 
  3. How she really feels when you penetrate. Sometimes, that gasp is not pleasure. You may have gone in wrong and bruised her on your way. 
  4. If you are terrible at cunnilingus. Most women take this to their graves because they do not think men can handle finding out they do not actually know what they are doing down there. 
  5. When your foreplay is not what she wants. Sometimes a woman does not want the preliminaries or does not need a long one. But telling somebody to stop trying to please you, is not an easy conversation during sex. 
  6. The real reason she wants to be on top. One of the reasons for this is simple, your angles are wrong, and you are missing her G-spot
  7. Sometimes, that position is not really doing anything for her, but you seem to enjoy it. Women will most times let you stay in a position that does nothing for them because there is still that subconscious prioritizing of a man's orgasm. 
  8. Her eyes are closed, not because of pleasure, but because she is imagining a sex scenario she prefers to her current situation. You could be doing okay, but what you are doing just is not what she would rather do and maybe she is not comfortable enough with you, to tell you. 
  9. When she rushes you through the foreplay, it is not always because she cannot wait, you are doing a terrible job. A woman will pick no foreplay over crappy foreplay, most times. 
  10. Sometimes, she is not moving away because she is in the throes of pleasure, you are probably hurting her. This happens most times when you are hitting it from the back. Bending over changes the line of the thrusts and this can easily change the feel of impact. 
  11. When she takes your hand away from a spot, let her. Wherever she wants you to go, she will guide your hand there. This is another point where men automatically believe it is “sweet torture”, when it has long stopped being pleasurable for their partner. 
  12. You are probably going too fast or slamming too hard. Forget porn, it does not always have to be aggressive. Some women can take the pain the constant slamming against their cervix causes, but most cannot. Be careful not to overdo the performance. 
  13. That angle makes your thrusts awkward; you are nowhere near her g-spot. She cannot feel anything because you are thrusting towards the wrong side, but she fakes moans and just lets it happen until it is over. 
  14. Most nipples are sensitive and so are most clitorises. There is no reason to bite. Any woman who wants pain in those places will tell you. Biting is not always pleasurable, especially on pleasure points. Less teeth, more hands and tongue. 
  15. Excess saliva can be disgusting. Kissing is one instant. A lot of women, unless they specifically request it, hate excess saliva in their mouths while kissing. Another instant is during cunnilingus. Keep the saliva moderate. The tongue is naturally wet, so extra drool is not necessary. It does the job just fine without it. 
  16. You may not really know how to use a vibrator on a woman. It is an entirely different method to regular sex and in most cases, women would rather do it themselves. However, she may just go with it to spice up the session. 
  17. Faking an orgasm is easier than teaching, sometimes. Some women take longer to reach orgasm and some men just do not have the stamina or expertise to make their women reach it. In such situations, it is easier to fake it. 
  18. All those unusual places you want to have sex in will probably prevent your partner from having an orgasm. Your partner may agree to have sex in the oddest places because you suggested it and they want to be adventurous. However, a lot of people cannot concentrate in certain places and you cannot have an orgasm if you cannot relax and enjoy the moment. 
  19. If you are large, the number of women who will genuinely enjoy sex with you will be way less than those that will not. Most women do all they can to avoid men who are big because it requires a lot of careful, calculated movements or they will just get bruises. Especially if it is somebody new that does not know their bodies yet. 
  20. Women whose snapback, after one orgasm, is slow, do not like to have an orgasm until their partners do. It cuts short the pleasure for them and for the duration of the sex, they mostly feel nothing but friction. So, they prefer to delay the orgasm and draw it out through the session until their partner gets his orgasm. Unfortunately, they end up doing the work themselves. 
  21. Women do not like their sex drive discussed. Especially in teasing terms. Some may not mind, but a lot of women hide their high sexual appetites from partners because they worry about how it makes them look. An environment that allows complete honesty, without judgment, is valuable to these women.
  1.  
  2. How she really feels when you penetrate. Sometimes, that gasp is not pleasure. You may have gone in wrong and bruised her on your way. 
  3. If you are terrible at cunnilingus. Most women take this to their graves because they do not think men can handle finding out they do not actually know what they are doing down there. 
  4. When your foreplay is not what she wants. Sometimes a woman does not want the preliminaries or does not need a long one. But telling somebody to stop trying to please you, is not an easy conversation during sex. 
  5. The real reason she wants to be on top. One of the reasons for this is simple, your angles are wrong, and you are missing her G-spot. 
  6. Sometimes, that position is not really doing anything for her, but you seem to enjoy it. Women will most times let you stay in a position that does nothing for them because there is still that subconscious prioritizing of a man's orgasm. 
  7. Her eyes are closed, not because of pleasure, but because she is imagining a sex scenario she prefers to her current situation. You could be doing okay, but what you are doing just is not what she would rather do and maybe she is not comfortable enough with you, to tell you. 
  8. When she rushes you through the foreplay, it is not always because she cannot wait, you are doing a terrible job. A woman will pick no foreplay over crappy foreplay, most times. 
  9. Sometimes, she is not moving away because she is in the throes of pleasure, you are probably hurting her. This happens most times when you are hitting it from the back. Bending over changes the line of the thrusts and this can easily change the feel of impact. 
  10. When she takes your hand away from a spot, let her. Wherever she wants you to go, she will guide your hand there. This is another point where men automatically believe it is “sweet torture”, when it has long stopped being pleasurable for their partner. 
  11. You are probably going too fast or slamming too hard. Forget porn, it does not always have to be aggressive. Some women can take the pain the constant slamming against their cervix causes, but most cannot. Be careful not to overdo the performance. 
  12. That angle makes your thrusts awkward; you are nowhere near her g-spot. She cannot feel anything because you are thrusting towards the wrong side, but she fakes moans and just lets it happen until it is over. 
  13. Most nipples are sensitive and so are most clitorises. There is no reason to bite. Any woman who wants pain in those places will tell you. Biting is not always pleasurable, especially on pleasure points. Less teeth, more hands and tongue. 
  14. Excess saliva can be disgusting. Kissing is one instant. A lot of women, unless they specifically request it, hate excess saliva in their mouths while kissing. Another instant is during cunnilingus. Keep the saliva moderate. The tongue is naturally wet, so extra drool is not necessary. It does the job just fine without it. 
  15. You may not really know how to use a vibrator on a woman. It is an entirely different method to regular sex and in most cases, women would rather do it themselves. However, she may just go with it to spice up the session. 
  16. Faking an orgasm is easier than teaching, sometimes. Some women take longer to reach orgasm and some men just do not have the stamina or expertise to make their women reach it. In such situations, it is easier to fake it. 
  17. All those unusual places you want to have sex in will probably prevent your partner from having an orgasm. Your partner may agree to have sex in the oddest places because you suggested it and they want to be adventurous. However, a lot of people cannot concentrate in certain places and you cannot have an orgasm if you cannot relax and enjoy the moment. 
  18. If you are large, the number of women who will genuinely enjoy sex with you will be way less than those that will not. Most women do all they can to avoid men who are big because it requires a lot of careful, calculated movements or they will just get bruises. Especially if it is somebody new that does not know their bodies yet. 
  19. Women whose snapback, after one orgasm, is slow, do not like to have an orgasm until their partners do. It cuts short the pleasure for them and for the duration of the sex, they mostly feel nothing but friction. So, they prefer to delay the orgasm and draw it out through the session until their partner gets his orgasm. Unfortunately, they end up doing the work themselves. 
  20. Women do not like their sex drive discussed. Especially in teasing terms. Some may not mind, but a lot of women hide their high sexual appetites from partners because they worry about how it makes them look. An environment that allows complete honesty, without judgment, is valuable to these women.

 

Some of these secrets are known, but not taken seriously enough and they are the difference between a fulfilling sexual experience and one that is just bad. 

As usual, communication is the most important part of any sexual relationship. Secrets do not help either partner and the embarrassment you fear may never even come. 

Did you find this useful?

Comments
Add new comment

Restricted HTML

  • Allowed HTML tags: <a href hreflang> <em> <strong> <cite> <blockquote cite> <code> <ul type> <ol start type> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <h2 id> <h3 id> <h4 id> <h5 id> <h6 id>
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • Web page addresses and email addresses turn into links automatically.