Love Matters | Rita Lino

Can men fake orgasms too?

Can men, like women, fake orgasms too? The answer is yes. It is rare, of course. You’re more likely to find a woman faking an orgasm than a man. The reason isn’t so hard to grasp either.

For centuries, the burden of providing satisfaction was placed on the woman. Sexual satisfaction wasn’t seen as a thing decent women should pursue, so it was frowned upon for a woman to seek ways to satisfy herself. This made sex solely for the man’s ejaculation, either purely for pleasure or to make the woman pregnant.

As time went on, men started to try to bring women satisfaction, just to be able to boast about their sexual prowess. But even during these times, many women faked it to stroke these men’s egos, because the women never really understood their bodies enough to get a true release.

Modern times did not change the desire in women to bring satisfaction to their partners, but that does not mean all the women know how to please them. In cases where the woman is eager to bring satisfaction to her partner, even though she’s bad at it, you may find the man pretending to be having a good time.

This has been one of the major reasons men have resorted to faking orgasms or just pretending to feel pleasure, during sex.

One reason faking an orgasm is rarer in men is that in most cases, men ejaculate when they have an orgasm and you can’t fake an ejaculation because it will be very visible.


There are situations, however, where men have admitted to faking orgasms or just pretending to feel pleasure. Here are some of the most common ones;

  • Oral sex not done right. Some men admit that the effort some women put into oral sex, makes it harder for them to tell them it isn’t working. So they just pretend to be at the height of pleasure, then find ways to switch activities instead of communicating.
  • Handjobs. Most men say in most cases, handjobs don’t do it for them. It’s different when they masturbate because they know their bodies and know where to do what. But men sometimes fake moans and try to look like they’re enjoying handjobs when they, in fact, feel nothing.
  • Phone sex. While some people truly are able to hold fantasies until they reach pleasure, a lot of times, men need the physical presence of the person they’re talking to. In a scenario where their partners are really into it and they’re not, they admit they have to fake all of it and try to convince their partner over the phone that they too, had an orgasm. It’s easier over the phone as they don’t have to show physical evidence after.
  • A lot of men, like women, just feel like they need to focus on satisfying their partners and so do not try to do anything for themselves. Once their partner gets an orgasm, they feel they have done their duty and usually have to get orgasms on their own, outside the sexual activity with their partners. During the process of sex with their partners, they fake all their reactions and their perceived pleasure, to convince their partner they’re getting satisfaction too.
  • Unrealistic movie and novel sex standards have also made it impossible for a lot of men to admit some normal things during sexual. Seeing how make-belief sexual situations always seem to be pleasurable to both parties, they try to live up to those standards, and in so doing deny themselves the real deal. So many men do not know what sexual experiences that are equally pleasurable on both sides, are supposed to feel like.
  • A lot of men do not know their way around and do not feel comfortable enough to ask. The fact that they do not know what works for their partner also sometimes reduces the pleasure for them. In that scenario, they will try to get it over with and cut down the time by pretending to be satisfied or done.
  • Many men say they faked pleasure and orgasms the most when they were much younger. The inexperience and the eagerness to please that comes with youth and also the need to look like they knew what they were doing, led to many instances where they had to mimic moans they got from porn or just act like they’re into it. Especially when it’s with a partner they worked hard to score with. They never even thought of trying to really satisfy themselves. Sex at those ages was more about having the sex, than enjoying the sex. So for them, they felt the need to fake it, less, the older they got and the more experienced they got. Also, with time they learned more about their bodies.

For both men and women in heterosexual relationships, faking an orgasm seems to be a more popular alternative than simply communicating. It is less common in same-sex relationships because having the same tools reduces your chances of not knowing what to do, but even in same-sex relationships, some partners still opt for faking an orgasm.

Communication is still the most effective way of attaining sexual satisfaction with a partner. Only you can find out and then televise the ways to bring your body to climax. And sharing them with whoever you’re going to have sex with, eliminates the need for a theatrical performance.

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