By Amanda Etuk
Sex is the conversation that constantly comes up in relationships. However, there are times when it feels like you would rather not. They could be due to your overall physical and mental health and it is not okay to indulge. We have highlighted 5 scenarios where you should not be having sex.
- When you don’t want to
You should never have sex when you don’t want to. If you have to be coerced or cajoled the answer should remain NO. There should always some excitement or yearning for both parties, If this is missing, the sex will not be worth it. There is never a reason you should engage in any acts at all even if they do not involve penetration. You also have the right to say NO even if you have had sex with the partner before or anyone else.
Blue balls and “suffering” are not valid excuses.
Do not also have sex because someone thinks you should and even if all your friends are doing it, do it only because you want to.
- When You Have a UTI or any infection in the urinary and genital area
You probably don’t want to have sex at the height of any infection with the pain and discomfort but when you start to feel better, people have been known to reconsider sex or jump back in the sack to satisfy their partners. Please wait till you have finished your medication and the symptoms have been fully cleared for at least two weeks. Having sex during treatment could worsen the infection and could likely spread the infection to your partner if sex is unprotected.
There is also pleasure in anticipation, so hold on to that.
- Right after waxing
Waxing is not as foreign anymore and is preferred for a smooth longer-lasting hair-free period. Please wait 24 hours after your wax because the area can be very sensitive on the same day. If you are getting waxed for a special occasion, I suggest getting this done at least 3 days before.
- You just gave birth
Doctors recommend at least four to six weeks to allow healing in the vagina regions. Having sex before that time can invite complications and disrupt the healing process not to mention the pain if done too soon.
- After surgery
This one may seem like common sense, but I will put it out here. It is better to make sure all necessary healing has been completed to prevent complications. Medical advances have enabled patients to recover quicker and feel back to normal much faster than before but please stick to your doctor’s guidelines and recommendations.
Tips for Saying NO
- Say NO
- Practice saying NO as often as you can with people you are comfortable with
- Say what you want to do; actual Netflix and chill without the sex, kissing, hugs, and hand holding etc. whatever you are comfortable with
- Be clear and direct
- Please don’t carry anyone’s embarrassment; I have been in positions where I’m uncomfortable on the person’s behalf to insist on what I want. You should insist anyway
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