By Ojus Sunday

This mystery about oral sex is due to many reasons ranging from culture, personal or family beliefs, to plain yuck factor. Yes, some people just find it disgusting putting their mouths down there. Different strokes huh? But wait, what is oral sex, really. Well, oral sex is using your lip or tongue to stimulate the genitals or anus of your partner.

Nneka, a young single woman recently revealed that her mother told her that in their family if any of the women have oral sex, there is a curse attached. Since then, she had been so scared to attempt it. Luckily for her, her sisters paved the way for her, as it were, and as it turned out, nothing happened to them. It was most likely a ploy of her mother’s to make her stay away from oral sex.

There is also the stigma attached. Many young girls feel like it is a debasing activity and they are afraid of being slut-shamed by their partners if they ever expressed interest in it. On the part of the guys, quite a few might think less of any girl that enjoys oral sex or is not bothered by it.

One fact that is obvious is that, when it comes to oral sex between consenting adults in Nigeria, there are lots of pre-existing prejudices to fight through. But you know, if you can find your way through all of that, oral sex can be quite a liberating and exciting sexual activity.

But then, as with most things concerning sex, there is a right way and a not so right way to go about oral sex with your partner. Whether you are giving or receiving, there are some things that need to be put in place to make it an enjoyable experience for both of you. Do you want to find out what they are? Here you go

Be Clean, Be Clean, Be Clean

This cannot be overemphasized when discussing oral sex. We are talking about using your mouth to pleasure someone else, and judging about how careful you most likely are about what you put in your mouth, you would understand how important being clean is when giving or receiving oral sex.

As a lady, you should take proper care of your vagina and keep it clean always. This is not even only for oral sex. As a rule, doing this should be part of your daily cleaning routine. Contrary to popular belief, it is not a good idea to douche or wash your vagina with a strong soap. Just a thorough rinsing with clean, warm water will do. Use a mild soap if you must use one.

Guys, you have a part to play in this as well. Have a thorough wash and rinse off of your privates at least once daily. Keep it fresh and clean, both of you will enjoy it more.

Communicate

Here is a really necessary point that needs to be discussed. Don’t just assume that your partner wants oral sex. It is not something that you should spring on them. It is a very intimate act and it should be discussed between both of you so that you can table your reservations and insecurities.

This is always the best approach if you really want the experience to be memorable. You should also be vocal about what does it for you and what you don’t like. Going down on your partner most times is not necessarily for you, it is mostly for their pleasure. If that is so, it makes sense to understand what is pleasurable for them and not what you think should be.

Sade’s case illustrates this point perfectly. She has always been reluctant to receive oral sex whenever she is in a relationship. This is because of a seemingly silly, but quite relevant reason. Whenever a guy goes down on her, it tickles her. Yes, oral sex for Sade usually ends in a series of girlish giggles and that can be very distracting.

Weird right? Yes, but for Sade to feel comfortable having oral sex with anyone, she has to feel like she can communicate with her partner about her situation and that they can find a way to have oral sex without the giggling fit. The solution might even require a trip to the doctor, but it is the teamwork that she really needs.

Ease Into It

Yes, you might want to work up to it, whether you are giving or receiving. Admittedly, for guys, it is a little bit more straightforward. But for girls, it is important to get the juices flowing before going down there.

Have some foreplay going on, kiss her for a while, and touch her. It is going to be more pleasurable for her if you do that. Don’t make it only about the act itself, sometimes, the build-up could be even more exciting.

Teeth And Nails Are A No No

For guys receiving oral sex, it is close to a horror show when teeth are involved. Apart from the fact that it rarely feels good, using too much teeth just feel weird and dangerous.

On the other hand, if you are going down on a girl, and you want to use your fingers, you need to make sure that you do not have nails. Apart from the fact that it is not pleasurable, you could potentially hurt her.

Be Safe

Okay, you might think that oral sex is a safe alternative to unprotected genital sex, but that is not necessarily true. Of course, you cannot get pregnant from oral sex alone, but you can still contract sexually transmitted infections from it.

If you are the one giving oral sex or if you have sores in your mouth, you are more at risk of catching an STI. To make sure this doesn’t happen, use protection; condoms for guys, and dams for ladies. 

Also, Brushing your teeth or using mouthwash before oral sex is not going to help with preventing the transfer of STIs. Rather, it might even favour it because you have just finished scrubbing your mouth thereby exposing it the more. Be safe and use protection if you are not sure.

Oral sex is enjoyable and could be a great way for you to know how your body works and what makes you tick, especially for ladies. 

But it can also be quite uncomfortable if you are not in the right frame of mind or if it is not done properly. Make sure you attempt it with someone you are really into, use the right techniques, and above all, be safe. Do all of this, and you are on your way to oral sex heaven!

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