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What to do if your partner cheats on you

By Tobi Afolabi Saturday, May 30, 2020 - 02:38
You are in a good mood, it was a good day at work, there wasn’t much traffic on your way back home and so you decide to surprise your partner and drop by at their house. You stop by the supermarket to buy some wine, hoping to share the bottle and your night with them. You walk into their place and find something you never expected: you find them cheating.

Your good mood vanishes instantly, and you’re angry, you feel betrayed, heartbroken and you want to hurt them the way they’ve hurt you. Even if cheating is a solid dealbreaker for you, here are a few things you might want to do.

 

  • Remove yourself from the situation:

To avoid making rash decisions you might regret later, it’s best to physically remove yourself from that situation, and this applies in any way or form. If you find that your partner is cheating through some other way, gather as much information as you can and leave. You’d want to be alone for whatever breakdown you might have anyway.

  • Get checked:

Your sexual health is / should be a high priority, Book an appointment with your doctor and get checked for STDs. if you test positive for any, get the necessary treatments and inform your partner so they can get tested as well, though health care practitioners would most likely ask that your partner be tested.

  • Cry

Research has found that in addition to being self-soothing, shedding emotional tears releases oxytocin and endorphins. These chemicals make people feel good and may also ease both physical and emotional pain. Crying is a great way to let go of anger and hurt, and it also helps to clear your head. Cry if you have to.

  • Don’t blame yourself

It is absolutely understandable that your self-esteem would take a hit if you find your partner cheating, but the last thing you should do is blame yourself. Or even the third party.

  • Talk to friends/family:

We all need support systems, and there is no better time for one to have a support system to lean on than during an emotionally difficult time. Talk to your friends and family about it, they might have different ideas on how to cheer you up, and also meaningful advice on how to handle the situation.

  • Take a vacation (if you have to):

If you absolutely need to leave your immediate environment, to recoup and take a break, do. It could be for just a weekend or longer but it does help to clear one’s head, especially if your partner shows up at your place before you’re ready to talk to them.

  • Talk/confront them:

Personally, talking it through is one of my favourite ways to resolve issues, and I find that it can be enlightening especially if both parties are open and honest. So, talk to your partner about this, but only when you feel ready. Ask strategic questions that would get you the clarity you seek and the healing you need. If it is a deal-breaker, walk away. If it is not and you and your partner(who has shown true remorse) want to work on the relationship, then that’s a good way to go as well.

All in all, I cannot presume to dictate how people react to situations that hurt them but these are just a few ways to make better decisions that you would be proud of in future, especially if you do not stay in the relationship.

Young Nigerians explain how they would handle a cheating partner

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