(C) Love Matters | Kolawole Akinwande

9 tips to help you know each other

We all sometimes struggle to talk to new people – no matter how confident and talkative we may seem. That can turn into a panic if we find this new person attractive.

Here are our top tips for talking to new people:


A smile goes a long way. It literally makes you feel better. You will come across as less intimidating and easier to talk to. In short, a toothy grin is a boost every conversation needs.

Think positive

Repeat positive thoughts to yourself as you walk over to a new person. Like:

‘I look great today.’

‘I’m a super confident person.’

It will help you radiate more confidence. Which can be hot.

Find common ground

Once you have the confidence to go over, introduce yourself and try to find something you both have in common. Begin by asking a simple question – you don’t have to be really original! Like:

‘Have you been to this place before?’

‘What’s your favorite restaurant?’

‘Do you and your friends come here regularly?’

‘Are you more of an indoors or outdoors person?’

If you’re at a party, perhaps ask how the person knows the host. Try to work out if you have friends in common. The conversation has begun.

Making conversation

Start off by talking about easy topics such as a film you’ve seen or music you like. Once the conversation gets flowing, you can show more of your personality. Talk about your likes and see if they’re interested in similar things. But don’t just talk about yourself. Ask questions, keep eye contact, and give plenty of signs to show you’re listening and really are interested. For example:

‘I love this song that’s playing now! What music do you like?’

‘My friends and I tried that new restaurant. It was amazing. What kind of food do you like?’

‘What do you like to do in your free time?’

‘What was the last book you really got into?’

‘What are some movies you really enjoyed?’

‘What would your perfect morning be like?’

Flattery will get you everywhere

Flattery is a gateway to flirting. But first make sure the conversation is going and you feel comfortable. A compliment must always be sincere – people can see through lies and it will only make you seem insecure. Don’t mention intimate physical features though. It will nearly always be offensive. Eyes, hair or clothes are usually fairly safe territory. You could try:

‘I couldn’t help noticing how lovely your eyes are.’

‘By the way, that dress looks amazing on you.’

‘That shirt looks really great on you.’

‘I really like your laugh, it makes me smile.’

Be yourself

If you pretend to be someone you’re not, you will get found out at some point. If you want someone to like the real you, be honest. That doesn’t mean launch into your whole life story and tell them all about your exes!

Exchanging numbers

If the conversation goes well and you feel a connection, suggest swapping mobile numbers. Then if you’re going out over the weekend, call to ask if they’d like to come along. Or if they had previously mentioned a new film, suggest seeing it together. Say how great it was to meet them, and that you’re looking forward to seeing them again.

Don’t be afraid of rejection

People get worried about the person not wanting to talk to them. But if you don’t try, you’ll never know and you may end up regretting not having the courage to speak to them. If the person is not interested in talking to you, don’t take it personally. Maybe they’re having a bad day or are dealing with something else that you don’t know about.

Be polite

If the conversation is not going anywhere, no worries! Just be polite and say it was nice to meet them and wish them a nice day, before joining your friends or moving on. Always be friendly, you might see them again and you want to be remembered for being polite and respectful.

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