open relationships

5 things to consider before getting into an open relationship

A while ago the term “open relationship” just covered opening up your relationship to two or more partners for purely sexual means but as culture and society have evolved several subcategories have fallen under it and some of these relationships exist now beyond the sexual.

A lot of people open up their relationships for different reasons. Some people seek emotional connections with other partners as the driving force for opening up their relationship. It is important that before even coming to your partner with the discussion of opening your relationship you need to understand and come to terms with a few things.

Questions like “are you in it for the sexual or are you in it for the emotional?” Also, you need to be able to answer the tough questions that will come from your partner like  “is there something I’m not doing or doing”?

Here are 5 things to guide you into the process of an open relationship:

  • Set Boundaries

    It is important to set boundaries with your partner on a lot of things from the number of partners you are allowed to be with to if you are you allowed to kiss or not (yes some people think kissing is an emotional thing). There are other things to consider like using protection in sex, partners (are friends or people in your circle off limits?) or even place/venue (are you allowed to bring partners to your shared living space). You can also set boundaries on dates as your partner may not want you to take the person to the places you both hold in your hearts because it will ruin the significance of the place to the both of you.

  • Communicate

    Check-in regularly with your partner both of you need to be kept in the loop of what you are doing and the partners you are with. There are also instances where your partner may not want to know about the person or who the person is. In this instance. they just want to know if there’s a person. If you don’t communicate jealousy will begin to fester and eat away at your bond and in the end, a separation may happen.

  • Discuss terminology

    ‘Open relationship’ is a broad term, kind of like an umbrella of sorts that holds different little ones underneath. There are different types of open relationships and be sure of what you are getting into; examples swinging, polyandry etc.

  • Are you telling people?

    Another thing you need to decide with your partner is if you are going to tell people about your situation. It will be smart to tell the people around you especially the ones you trust about your decision so no one is coming to you as a “man” or “woman” while you are just sitting living in peace.

  • Understanding

    If you and your partner don’t understand each other this is going to be a pointless step to take. Understanding helps bring honesty to relationships. It is also important to spend more time with each other so as to know the areas that may or may not make your partner uncomfortable.

Open relationships are very tricky to navigate and all bases need to be covered before deciding if it is something you will want to do.  It also doesn’t mean the topic of an open relationship is the beginning of the end of your relationship, it might just be a step to going to the next level in your relationship but it is important to note that the key to having a strong open relationship is to mutually agree on a set of rules guiding you and your partner and making sure you keep these rules.

Do you have more questions about open relationships? Drop them below or reach out to our Moderators on our Facebook Page.

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