(C) Love Matters | Rita Lino

What is a throuple?

A “throuple” is a romantic relationship between three people. For many that were raised to believe a successful relationship must be monogamous, this may be a hard concept to wrap your head around.

Throuples are a kind of polyamorous relationships. Polyamory is basically being open to the idea of loving more than one person and having a serious relationship with multiple people at the same time.

“Poly” comes from the Greek word meaning many, and “-amory” from the Latin for love. This differs from open relationships, where partners are okay with having sex with other people but do not want them falling in love with someone else.

Sandra + Dayo = Couple

Sandra + Dayo + Amanda = Throuple

Sandra + Dayo + John = Throuple

Throuples can be made up of people of any gender identity and any sexual orientation who choose to be together.

These kinds of relationships exist. Albeit unpopular, there has been a case in Brazil of a marriage between three people. The public notary who conducted their marriage says there’s no reason the threesome shouldn’t enjoy the same kinds of rights imparted upon two people who get hitched.

In other situations, a couple who have been together for a long time may decide to bring in a third person to spice up the relationship.

Like with every aspect of life, being in a polyamorous relationship has its advantages and disadvantages.

When you have a third person involved, chances are that you may introduce yourself and your original partner to qualities that both of you may want but can't offer each other.

A third partner can also step in as a mediator when conflict comes up between the other two.

All that could make for a much more satisfying relationship. Because just like couples, throuples love each other, support each other, argue, have sex, live together, and may even decide to have children.

On the flip side, being in a throuple is hard work and maybe more difficult to navigate than the traditional two-person relationship.

The moment when one person starts to feel left out and the jealously kicks in, everything starts to crumble.

Which is why it is important to practice open communication and for all parties involved to express their needs and concerns at the start of the relationship.

And while having a third person to mediate during a conflict with the other two may be a plus, this also leaves room for taking sides which can further alienate one person in the throuple.

“Poly [and] monogamy existing on a spectrum means people can start building more balanced relationships and have healthier conversations,” said Dr. Anne-Laure Le Cunff, a doctoral candidate at the Institute of Psychiatry, Psychology & Neuroscience at King’s College London.

“Seeing polyamory and monogamy as two polar opposites that cannot co-exist has historically made these discussions more difficult than necessary.”

It is possible to have a loving and fulfilling polyamorous relationship. So two may be company, but three is a party.

 

 

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