A straight guy’s guide to getting out of the friend zone

By Saminu Machunga on May 16, 2020February 15, 2022

The infamous friend zone is territory that many young romantics dread. You develop feelings for a dear friend and you think to yourself, “We already have a great connection as friends, e fit work between us.” Low key it seems like the perfect plan and almost feels destined. After consulting a few other friends (who probably encourage you) you declare your undying love to your dear friend – but she just doesn’t feel the same way.

“You’re like a brother to me.”

To understand how to get out of the friend zone, you’ve got to keep in mind that for some women, it’s different. There is a level of comfort that the friend zone provides. It is safe and dependable.

She confides in you. She gives you gist about other people she’s attracted to and although it kills you inside you stay cause you want to be a supportive friend.

But you still feel a little short-changed cause it feels as if you play the role of a boyfriend without actually being the boyfriend.

Getting out of the friend zone is important for your sanity. Always holding back your feelings while pretending to be “just a friend” is exhausting.

Keep in mind, there is a slight chance that you’re just not her type. Can you be okay with that?

If you still think you’ve got a shot, here are tips to get out of the friend zone.

Accept the situation and keep your cool
Don’t beg for her to give you a chance, ever. She made a conscious decision to not be anything more than friends with you.

You’ll do much better if you start putting less focus on her and more focus on you.
Stop obsessing over her
Stop thinking about her way more than you should. It’s kind of creepy and, over time, not healthy.

If she’s on your mind the second you wake up, every minute of every hour of every day, and you’re constantly staring at her pictures on Instagram, it’s too much. Stop it.
Focus on self-improvement
Nobody is perfect, so there is always a huge amount of room for improvement.

Start looking your best. Go to the gym and keep up a healthy diet. Also, don’t forget about the intellectual side of things. Try to be a hot and interesting person.

If you feel more confident about yourself, she will probably notice it. Girls love self-confidence and after all, the special girl you want is just another girl.
Don’t call or text too much
If you want the attraction she feels for you to change drastically, you have to stop calling and texting so much.

She’s not going anywhere and you won’t die if you don’t talk to her. She won’t be worried sick that something happened to you.

When you stop calling and texting, you have her attention more than you normally do and you begin the process of getting out of the friend zone.
Show less interest
When you disappear for a while and quit calling and texting so much, you give her the opportunity to miss you, think about you, and wonder about you.

She’ll feel the void of you not being there and before you know it, she’s missing you, wants to talk to you, wants to know how you’re doing, what you’re doing, and who you’re doing it with.

If you show too much interest, she knows she still has you wrapped around her finger and can still “have you” if she wants.

Also Read – Long distance relationships
Stop trying to be the nice guy
It’s normal to have feelings of adoration and you would probably do anything for her, but don’t overdo it.

Guys in the friend zone tend to overcompensate. They think the nicer they are, the more compliments they give, and the more they suck up to her, the more she’ll see what a great guy they are.

So stop seeking her approval and validation. Stop caring so much about what she thinks and stop trying to be the nicest guy in the world.