(C) Love Matters | Kolawole Akinwande

Is it time to break up?

Do you feel like you’ve given your relationship your all, but it’s not working? Or you grew apart? Then it’s probably time to consider ending the relationship.

Breaking up with your partner is never easy, but sometimes you have to do it. Sometimes we stay in unhappy relationships because ending it is such a tough decision, and can cause a lot of emotional stress and practical problems. If you’re putting it off, even though you feel it’s the right thing to do, you’re not the only one.

When is it time to break up?

It’s tough to know if it’s really time to break up with your partner. Here are a few signs that it’s time to break up and move on:​​​

  • You’re in an abusive or controlling relationship.
  • One of you cheated on the other and you both realise it’s over.
  • You’ve lost interest in spending time with your partner.
  • Your relationship has changed a lot since you first started being together, and you don’t like the way things are going.
  • You fight a lot with your partner. These fights keep happening even though you’ve tried talking out the underlying problems properly.
  • You find it hard to be yourself in the relationship.
  • You find it difficult to talk to your partner.
  • You’ve started keeping secrets from your partner or have discovered that your partner is keeping secrets from you.
  • You and your partner find yourselves having to say ‘sorry’ too often.
  • It’s been a long time since you said ‘I love you’ to each other.
  • You haven’t had sex in a long time.

These are just a few indicators. The strongest of them all is feeling there’s something wrong with your relationship.

Relationships always have their ups and downs. It can be worth working hard with your partner to try to improve the situation. Sometimes the problems aren’t really about you and your partner, but about outside circumstances that are putting a strain on your relationship – things like money worries, trouble at work, a lost job, or arguments with family.

Yes, you can come out of the other side of a bad patch feeling closer than ever. But that doesn’t mean that you and/or your partner should spend years of your lives feeling unhappy all the time. So sometimes a break-up is the best option.

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